Are You A GRACIOUS☺️ or GRUMPY 😠Family Caregiver? Serious Talk!😣
#familyconflict #familydynamics #familycaregivers #emotionalhealth #emotionalrollercoasters #anxietyanddepression #anticpatorygrief #dementiacare #dementiasupport #shame #caregiverlife
Family Caregiving is NOT for the faint-hearted and despite our best intentions, the daily grind, the fatigue, the unexpected, the loneliness, can lead to a cascade of emotions that can be difficult to understand, much less process, and leave you feeling as if "there is no way out".
YET..... often, when help IS offered, especially by other family members- there's conflict- and help is judged, corrected, or FLATLY refused.
😡💥SOUNDS FAMILIAR? 😡😤
So, how can we meet in the middle - empathise, and understand WHY this happens, and --- "GIVE PEACE A CHANCE"!💗🫂💗?
3 main reasons why help is refused:
1/ GUILT- often self-imposed and mis-directed- the main Caregiver feels responsible for the illness- this makes help offered feel like failure.
2/ OVER PROTECTION (the "mother hen") - no-one else but you can "get it right"- that is rooted in safety, but tells relatives you don;t /can't trust them (they WILL go away after a while- they will!)
3/ UNRESOLVED SIBLING RIVALRY and COMPETITION- whether 6 years old or 60, sibling rivalry is as old as Cain and Abel, and this can create conflict rather than cohesion.
So: what can we do? Give empathy where we can; grace where we can't.
💗💗🫂🫂KEEP the focus in the RIGHT PLACE- our LOVED ONE.💗💗🫂🫂
One day/hour at a time
From my heart to yours💗
Dr. Lana
.........................................................
Overwhelmed? Let's connect: 📧lana@lanaannemd.com
For more insights and connect for a FREE face-to-Face 15 minute Zoom call, and a place where we can connect as physicians on my website:
lanaslittlethings.com
If you're a Family Caregiver at your wit's end, needing a different perspective, set up your free 15-minute coaching call-also by email -lana@lanaannemd.com - or on www.lanaslittlethings.com
I always look forward to meeting Fellow Family Caregivers- we gotta stick together!💯
PREMIERING NOW!!
Part 2 of 2 :Caregiving does NOT change for Holidays 🌲🕯️🕎.HOW Can it STILL be Fun ,Festive & HAPPY🥳?
#familycaregivers #holidayseason #holidays #respitecare #familysupport #emotionalhealth #familydynamics #dementiacare #dementiasupport
Holidays💝🎄🕯️🕎 can be an ESPECIALLY challenging time for Family Caregivers- the gatherings, requests to join festivities, to decorate, all the while--- EVERDAY IS THE SAME.
WHY?: Because Dementia and Caregiving do NOT miraculously STOP because it is Festive time!
The daily tasks MUST continue.
In order to mage and still feel a part of it all, and avoid unnecessary fatigue and possible tension within the family, here is PART 2- 5 MORE suggestions! 💥💥💯)
👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽
6. Maintain Routine
Disruption to a daily schedule can be stressful for anyone, especially those with cognitive or medical needs. Stick as closely as possible to regular mealtimes, medication schedules, and bedtime rituals.
7. Mind the Sensory Overload
Be aware that bright lights, loud music, strong scents (like pine or potpourri), and excessive visitors can cause confusion, anxiety, or distress. Adjust the environment to keep it calm and predictable.
8. Embrace Technology and Short Visits
If travel is too difficult, use video calls (like Zoom or FaceTime) to connect with distant family. When hosting, encourage guests to visit in small groups and for shorter durations rather than all at once.
9. Practice Self-Care (Non-Negotiable)
Schedule at least 15-30 minutes of "me time" every day. This could be listening to music, reading, or taking a walk. Taking care of your own mental and physical health is the most important gift you can give yourself and your loved one.
10. Seek Joy in the Small Moments
The holidays don't have to be perfect. Try to focus on the meaning and connection rather than the elaborate plans. A simple cup of cocoa together or a moment of quiet reflection can be more fulfilling than a perfect holiday feast.
I hope these tips help you navigate the season with grace and peace.
You got this!
One day/hour at a time
From my heart to yours💗
Dr. Lana
Caregiving does NOT Change for the Holidays🎄🕯️🕎. HOW Can it STILL be Fun, Festive & HAPPY🥳?
#familycaregivers #holidayseason #holidays #respitecare #familysupport #emotionalhealth #familydynamics #dementiacare #dementiasupport
Holidays💝🎄🕯️🕎 can be an ESPECIALLY challenging time for Family Caregivers- the gatherings, requests to join festivities, to decorate, all the while--- EVERDAY IS THE SAME.
WHY?: Because Dementia and Caregiving do NOT miraculously STOP because it is Festive time!
The daily tasks MUST continue.
In order to mage and still feel a part of it all, and avoid unnecessary fatigue and possible tension within the family, here are 5 suggestions for now.
(We will explore another 5 next week! 💥💥💯)
1. Prioritize and Simplify Traditions
Don't feel pressure to maintain every past tradition. Focus on one or two most meaningful activities (like driving to see lights or listening to music) and let the rest go. Simplify decorations and meal preparation.
2. Manage Expectations (Yours and Others')
Be realistic about what you and your loved one can handle. It's okay to say "no" to large gatherings or to host for a shorter period. Communicate any limitations to family and friends early on.
3. Schedule Respite Care
The holidays are busy, and you need a break. Arrange for professional or volunteer respite care, even if it's just for a few hours to wrap presents or attend a small party. Don't wait until you're exhausted.
4. Create a Quiet/Safe Space
If you attend or host a party, designate a quiet, low-stimulus room where your loved one (and you!) can retreat when the noise and activity become overwhelming.
5. Delegate Specific Tasks
When friends or family ask, "How can I help?", have a specific list ready. Ask for help with grocery shopping, setting the table, wrapping gifts, or spending time with your loved one while you rest.
You got this!
One day/hour at a time
From my heart to yours💗
Dr. Lana
Overwhelmed? Let's connect: 📧lana@lanaannemd.com
